Bella DePaulo isn’t just a powerhouse, she’s a lighthouse. She reveals what the Couples Industrial Complex don’t want you to know. More power to her for chipping away at reductive and fundamentally baseless single stigmas. We need more luminaries like her
Catherine Gray
Author of The Unexpected Joy of Being Single
Bella DePaulo has unparalleled perspective and insight into singlehood. In this book, DePaulo compellingly shows what it means to be single at heart, bringing together years of research and personal experience. Single at Heart is for those who are single at heart—and for those who are not.
Naomi Cahn
University of Virginia School of Law and author of Red Families V. Blue Families
Single at Heart is the book society needs to finally stop believing that singlehood is a stop along the way to happiness. This book is so heartfelt and helpful—for everyone, regardless of their relationship status. It’s a compassionate book about how to find happiness within oneself.
Ginny Hogan
Author of I’m More Dateable than a Plate of Refried Beans
If you need a break from all the cultural chatter coming at you 24-7 insisting that you can’t really be happy if you’re single, Bella DePaulo’s new book, Single at Heart, is a must-read. As a lifelong single person, I started out, pen in hand, ready to underline and highlight and put a ton of exclamation marks in the margins—and then very quickly realized I was going to have to underline the whole book.
Gina Fattore
Novelist and TV writer, author of The Spinster Diaries and writer-producer on Dawson’s Creek, Gilmore Girls, and Parenthood
Bella DePaulo writes with characteristic panache and passion about the rewards of flying solo. I read Single at Heart with delight and a frequent chuckle, at her wit, her good cheer, and her irrepressible joy in life and love.
Fenton Johnson
Author of At the Center of All Beauty: Solitude and the Creative Life
Masterfully dismantling age-old misconceptions about singlehood, Bella DePaulo reveals in this book the vibrant, authentic lives of those ‘single at heart.’ This book is a powerful reminder that living single isn’t a compromise for many people, but a profound, deeply fulfilling life path.
Elyakim Kislev
Author of Happy Singlehood: The Rising Acceptance and Celebration of Solo Living
Single At Heart: The Power, Freedom and Heart-filling Joy of Single Life brilliantly outlines what it means to NOT look at singlehood as an unpleasant illness that you just need a good partner to cure you of. Through countless personal stories and sociological research gleaned over ten years, DePaulo has drawn the fullest and most accurate portrait of ME I have ever read. Though I’ve written in the single and childfree by choice space for much of my 48 years, I’ve struggled to ground my writing in more than just my personal experiences. Thanks to Single at Heart, I now have the data to back up what I’ve always experienced as an undervalued lifestyle choice tainted with social stigma by the coupled and the single alike. Single At Heart astutely details how those of us who choose not to give into the cultural conditioning that marriage is, by default, the best way to do adulthood are forced to climb over structural obstacles that many refuse to admit are unjust and inequitable. This is the book I’ve waited for since I was 19 years old and longed for someone to assure me I wasn’t abnormal for not seeing marriage as a prize and romantic partnership as nirvana.
Keturah Kendrick
Author of No Thanks: Black, Female, and Living in the Martyr-Free Zone
Authors who question the marriage principle face the same question, even from sympathetic interviewers: aren’t there “hundreds of studies” proving that matrimony bolsters health and happiness? Not so much. Bella DePaulo has spent twenty years interrogating this claim — cutting through manipulated statistics and slipshod methodology like a hot knife through butter. She’s shown that marriage – and romantic coupling in general – offer no panaceas for health and contentment. DePaulo’s most personal monograph, Single at Heart continues her brilliant takedown of pop-psychology’s insistence on wedlock as a prophylactic against just about everything bad. This book goes deeper by exploring the benefits of living without a romantic partner as the epicenter of one’s life. Myriad men and women interviewed describe the benefits and pleasures: freedom to manage one’s time and finances; privacy; pursuing meaningful work; discarding convention in favor of a life based on conscious priorities; dedication to important causes; investment in community; commitment to “intentional” friendship networks that include cohabitation…the list goes on. Anyone who is immersed in the uncoupled life, who is somewhat single at heart, or who cares about someone single at heart must read this pathfinding book.
Jaclyn Geller
Author of Moving Past Marriage: Why We Should Ditch Marital Privilege, End Relationship-Status Discrimination, and Embrace Nonmarital History
We may be two decades into the 21st century, but it is still a “truth” universally acknowledged that any uncoupled person must be in search of a spouse. In Single at Heart, Bella DePaulo brilliantly dismantles this myth and explains why more and more people are choosing not to define their existence by the pursuit of romantic love. I loved DePaolo’s mixture of hard data, compelling life stories and thoughtful writing. Whatever your current relationship status, you have to read this book
David Robson
Author of The Intelligence Trap and The Expectation Effect
In Single At Heart, Bella DePaulo yet again proves herself to be a pivotal voice on the rights and lives of single people. For those who consider themselves “single at heart,” this book will be a haven, refuting the societal stereotypes that often undermine and undervalue the profound contentment that so many single people experience. To everyone else, DePaulo’s richly researched book will open their minds to the myriad ways we can find intimacy, care and fulfillment.
Rhaina Cohen
Author of The Other Significant Others
It’s hard to find the words to do this brilliant, brilliant book justice, but here goes anyway. The more I delved into Single At Heart, the more excited I felt, and the brighter the fire burned inside of me. Not only because I identify as single at heart myself, but because Bella’s incredibly thorough research makes it abundantly clear that a life of singledom can indeed be joyful, rich and, well, wonderful. This book is important, groundbreaking and full of hope and optimism for anyone who has ever questioned their love of being alone, or has felt stigmatised and excluded based on nothing more than their relationship status. But it’s not just for those of us who are single or single at heart. It’s for those who have pitied, shamed or patronised the people in their lives who have chosen a path that dares to defy the patriarchal norm. It’s also for societies, governments and people in positions of power – whilst we’re all so painfully aware, and sensitive towards, discrimination around race, gender, ethnicity, physical and mental disabilities, there is radio silence when it comes to the discrimination faced every day by single people; and Bella’s chapter on ‘The Resistance’ is in a league of its own. This book leaves the reader in no doubt that not only is being single perfectly ‘normal’, but for those who love it, (or learn to do so) it’s a life that brings richness, freedom, and opportunity like no other. With this book out in the world, I think we might see a whole new wave of both men and women who have finally been given the permission they need to step out of the shadows and into an authentic life on their own terms. In case you can’t tell, I more than loved this book. Everyone should read it. Thank you, Bella, so much.
Lucy Meggeson
Host of Spinsterhood Reimagined podcast, London, UK
Bella DePaulo makes a powerful case for rethinking our assumptions about love, marriage and happiness. Her work is essential for anyone interested in imagining what an expansive, meaningful single life can look like.
Mandy Len Catron
Author of How to Fall in Love with Anyone
