Everything You Think You Know About the Benefits of Marrying Is Wrong: The Evidence

Marriage_vs._Single__Cover_for_Kindle, 2-28-15The_Science_of_Marri_Cover_for_Kindle, 2-28-15








Every time I learn about a new claim that getting married makes people happier or healthier or more connected or live longer (and all the rest), I go to the original research report to see what the findings really did say. The media — and sadly, many social scientists — routinely get it wrong. No, getting married does not cause  you to become lastingly happier or healthier or better off in any way than if you stayed single (well, you do get more money because of all the laws and practices that benefit married people and discriminate against singles).

Here (below), you can find links to all my critiques of these studies. I’ll keep adding more as new claims hit the media that I need to debunk. I’ve also put together 2 books of my writings explaining why all those Marriage Wins claims are so wrong. Marriage vs. Single Life: How Science and the Media Got It So Wrong includes a chapter previously available only in an expensive edited volume, a new paper that is the most powerful and comprehensive explanation of what the research does and does not show about the implications of getting married, plus 39 other brief chapters (many from my blogs). Because I think that new powerful and comprehensive paper is so important, I have made it into a stand-alone book (together with an introduction) in The Science of Marriage: What We Know That Just Isn’t So. (Both are available both as paperbacks and as ebooks. You can read more about them here.)


Singlism in the Navy: Guest Blogger Continues the Debate


[Bella’s intro: In Singled Out, I wrote a section called “The Command Team Wears Wedding Bands,” in which I described instances of singlism (stereotyping, stigmatizing, and discrimination against singles) in the military. Retired Navy veteran Roger Morris read the book and got in touch, saying that although he agrees that there is some singlism in the Navy, he also thinks there are important ways in which the Navy is a pretty great place to be single. I invited him to share his views and he did so here and here. Then, just recently, another single sailor got in touch with me about his own experiences and views of singlism in the Navy. I invited him to share his perspective, and that’s what you can read in this post. He wishes not to be identified so I’m just calling him “guest blogger.” Thank-you, guest blogger!


Single Men Are Too Often Marginalized, But Not – I Hope – by Me

Recently, a reader asked: “Is there, or will there, ever be anything for single men? Why is there so much about single women but hardly anything for single men?”

I agree. In the popular media, in blogs, and even in academic research, discussions of single life are overwhelmingly written about or by single women. In my blog writing, I first expressed my exasperation in the post,


To Ann Romney, All Women Are Mothers and the Children of Single Dads Feel Weird

Speaking to the Republican National Convention last night, Ann Romney exclaimed that she loved women. (Well, not that way.)  I don’t think she realizes, though, that not all women are mothers. Either that or she thinks that the only women who count are the mothers.

“It’s the moms who always have to work a little harder, to make everything right,” she said.

“It’s the moms of this nation,” she added, “single, married, widowed – who really hold this country together.”


Single in the Navy, Part 1: Guest Post by Roger Morris

[Bella’s intro: Recently, a retired Navy veteran, Roger Morris, wrote to say that while he believed there was some singlism in the Navy, he also thought there were advantages to being a Navy single. I asked if he would elaborate on his perspective and share his wisdom with “All Things Single (and More)” readers and he very kindly agreed. In fact, he has so much to say that I’m presenting his essay in two parts. This is the first. Many thanks to you, Roger Morris, for the time you took to do this important research and writing. By the way, readers, see all that red on the map image accompanying this post? It shows all the places Roger Morris has been!]