[Bella’s intro: In Singled Out, I wrote a section called “The Command Team Wears Wedding Bands,” in which I described instances of singlism (stereotyping, stigmatizing, and discrimination against singles) in the military. Retired Navy veteran Roger Morris read the book and got in touch, saying that although he agrees that there is some singlism in the Navy, he also thinks there are important ways in which the Navy is a pretty great place to be single. I invited him to share his views and he did so here and here. Then, just recently, another single sailor got in touch with me about his own experiences and views of singlism in the Navy. I invited him to share his perspective, and that’s what you can read in this post. He wishes not to be identified so I’m just calling him “guest blogger.” Thank-you, guest blogger!
Mary Edwards says: The women in my family are independent, successful and strong. Every single one of us has a very sarcastic humor and easy going look on life. My sisters and aunts are all married but living a very even partnered marriage. If any of them were to be left by their husbands, I believe they would bounce back into singledom just fine. So naturally, I was shocked when I learned how much my family was concerned about my single status recently. My jaw literally dropped when my aunt told me, ‘You aren’t getting any younger.’
Just after I posted Undeterred, Rush Limbaugh bashes another single woman, Yasmin Nair sent me a heads-up about her own post on the Rush stuff. It is long, so I’ll post the first few paragraphs here, then give you the link so you can read the rest of it at her site. Yasmin Nair, by the way, contributed that wonderful essay, “Singular Friendships,” to the Singlism book.
[Bella’s intro: Recently, a retired Navy veteran, Roger Morris, wrote to say that while he believed there was some singlism in the Navy, he also thought there were advantages to being a Navy single. I asked if he would elaborate on his perspective and share his wisdom with “All Things Single (and More)” readers and he very kindly agreed. In fact, he has so much to say that I’m presenting his essay in two parts. This is the first. Many thanks to you, Roger Morris, for the time you took to do this important research and writing. By the way, readers, see all that red on the map image accompanying this post? It shows all the places Roger Morris has been!]
[Bella’s intro: I do not know Laura Backes, but when she sent me this essay, I liked it and thought some “All Things Single (and More)” readers would appreciate it as well. For future reference, though, I will reiterate the point I have often made that I especially welcome posts that speak both to single women and single men.
I do like this topic, and Laura Backes has inspired me to reprint my own take on “having it all” – an excerpt from Singled Out. I’ll post that sometime soon. (Here it is. I posted it at my “Single at Heart” blog at PsychCentral.) I hope others will also share what “having it all” or a sense of balance means to them.]
A Balanced Woman
By Laura Backes
I love featuring voices other than mine here at “All Things Single (and More).” Although I read widely about single life, think critically, study the academic journals, and do my own original research, my perspective is limited by my own life experiences. So, even though I always appreciate hearing from people who share my point of view, I also greatly value those whose single lives have been very different.
[Bella’s intro: In my last post, I gave a name to the series that has actually been ongoing for some time: Perspectives on Single Life. The first entry posted specifically under that name is from Maya Bernadett. She takes on the pressure to just settle, a topic that, unfortunately, continues to be timely. There are a number of lines from this essay that I especially appreciate, but I think my favorite is the very last one. No cheating – don’t skip ahead to the end! Thanks, Maya, for sharing your essay with the readers of “All Things Single (and More).”]
Recently, there has been an increase in the number of single people sending me essays about single life. I welcome that. I love hearing from other singles, and I like sharing different points of view with all of you – even if (especially if?) those perspectives are not entirely the same as my own. I expect these guests posts to become a semi-regular feature here at “All Things Single (and More).” I’m going to call the series “Perspectives on Single Life.” Starting with the next guest post (which will probably appear tomorrow), you will see “Perspectives on Single Life” as one of the categories in the right-hand column of this blog page. Eventually, I will try to add that tag to previous guest posts as well, so you can see all of the others at a glance.