Over at my Living Single blog at Psychology Today, I wrote a post about my recent visit to the Bellingham cohousing community, and along the way, described the notion of cohousing. Take a look at that first, then check out some additional pictures here.
In a previous post, “New book project is on,” I described my long road to getting offers of book contracts for my project on new ways of living. I discussed the theme of the book there, too. While working on the proposal, I had also been writing a bit about the topic elsewhere – mostly in blog posts, but also in a brief opinion piece for the New York Times. Below are links to much of what I have written so far.
By the way, the picture is of a “pocket neighborhood” right here in Santa Barbara. It was designed by the visionary architect, Ross Chapin, who also wrote the book on the topic: Pocket neighborhoods: Creating small-scale community in a large-scale world.
Last January was when I first decided, with lots of input from my agent, on the theme of my new book project. It is about the many creative ways that we are living now that Americans are spending more years of their adult lives unmarried than married, and only about 20 percent of all households are comprised of mom, dad, and the kids. These are huge change from decades past. (See below for more on the theme of the book.)
In January 2010, I wrote a post for my Living Single blog called Not going nuclear: So many ways to live and love. In it, I wondered about a fundamental question of our lives – how do we choose to live, now that we don’t all live in the sentimentalized nuclear family household comprised of mom, dad, and the kids – and no one else – all under one roof? How do different arrangements work out, with regard to fulfilling our needs and desires? How can each of us achieve just the right mix of time alone and time with others?
[Bella’s intro: Recently, a retired Navy veteran, Roger Morris, wrote to say that while he believed there was some singlism in the Navy, he also thought there were advantages to being a Navy single. I asked if he would elaborate on his perspective and share his wisdom with “All Things Single (and More)” readers and he very kindly agreed. In fact, he has so much to say that I’m presenting his essay in two parts. This is the first. Many thanks to you, Roger Morris, for the time you took to do this important research and writing. By the way, readers, see all that red on the map image accompanying this post? It shows all the places Roger Morris has been!]
Back during my East Coast days, there was a year when a colleague invited me to go to her daughter’s play on the 4th of July. I don’t like doing that sort of thing all the time, but I do enjoy kids’ performances occasionally, so that was fine. The play was around noon, so I figured we’d spend the rest of the day together.
Writing about singles has been an enormously meaningful experience, but it has not been a lucrative one. I’ve had fantasies about making a mint on Singled Out or Singlism or from blogging. Not gonna happen.
What I fantasized about is not stuff like buying a yacht or traveling around the world. What I really wish I could do is support single people and singles activism and advocacy. So here I’d like to share some of my starry-eyed ideas that will never come to fruition from my meager royalties or paychecks. I hope you will add some of your own.
Every so often, someone publishes one of those predictable “best places to be single” stories. They are always the same – they are not about places for people who want to live their single lives, but instead about the best places to become unsingle. I’ve been thinking about the question because of an email I recently received from a reader, Rosemary.