I’m Bella DePaulo
I seem to be a permanent Visiting Professor of Psychology at the University of California, Santa Barbara. I came to UCSB in the summer of 2000 for what was supposed to be a one-year sabbatical, and never left.
I have a longstanding interest and expertise in the psychology of deceiving and detecting deceit, a developing set of research and writings on friendship, and a true passion for the practice and study of single life.
To talk about singles or the psychology of deception, I’ve appeared on television shows such as the Today Show and the Nightly News on NBC, Good Morning America on ABC, CBS This Morning, CBS Sunday Morning, and the Early show, CNN Newstand and Anderson Cooper 360, PBS, Harball with Chris Matthews, the Discovery Channel, Lifetime, and the BBC. I’ve also appeared a number of times on NPR and many other radio shows.
Here’s my professional resume. In it, you will find the typical background information about my educational and employment history, honors and awards, service, and so forth, plus sections listing
- Books and journals
- Book chapters
- Book reviews and commentaries
- Singles lectures
- Beyond the academic
The first book I wrote that was not just for fellow academics was SINGLED OUT: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After. Singled Out is a myth-busting, consciousness-raising, totally unapologetic take on singles and their place in contemporary American society.
Do you, or anyone you know, believe that single people are miserable and lonely, and that getting married makes people happier and healthier and even means that they will live longer? Do you think that the children of single parents doomed? Do you, or anyone you know, think that singlism (the stereotyping and stigmatizing of people who are single) does not really exist? Then Singled Out is for you and those enlightenment-challenged people in your life.
In the book, I draw from decades of scientific research to smash the myths about marriage and singlehood. I include examples from popular culture as well as the touching, aggravating, and hilarious personal experiences shared by so many of the single people I’ve gotten to know along the way.
I’ve also authored
- Singlism: What It Is, Why It Matters, and How to Stop It
- Single with Attitude: Not Your Typical Take on Health and Happiness, Love and Money, Marriage and Friendship
- Behind the Door of Deceit: Understanding the Biggest Liars in Our Lives
- The Lies We Tell and the Clues We Miss: Professional Papers
- The Hows and Whys of Lies
- Is Anyone Really Good at Detecting Lies?
- Friendsight: What Friends Know that Others Don’t
- When the Truth Hurts: Lying to Be Kind
and contributed to a number of other books and anthologies. You can find them all on the BOOKS page.
I’ve written op-ed pieces for publications such as the New York Times (on singles and on deception), Forbes, the Chronicle of Higher Education, the San Francisco Chronicle, and Newsday.
At the Blog attached to this website, I write about singles, deception, friendship, some personal observations (“It’s Personal” section), and other miscellaneous topics (“Off-Topic” section).
I have addressed many different audiences on topics related to single life and the psychology of deception. I can be hired to speak at your event. I have also consulted with academic, business, research, and government groups and think tanks, usually on topics related to deception.