What’s New?

New book project: How We Live Now

Are you asking yourself the question, “How should I live now?” I’m listening. How are you finding your place, your space, and your people? How are you creating the optimal mix of time alone and time with other people? Are you sharing a home? Creating a neighborhood that really is neighborly, such as a co-housing community? Living alone but near people you care about? Deliberately living separately from your spouse, because that actually makes your relationship stronger? That’s what I’m writing about in my new book project. I’m calling the new genre “lifespace literature.”

Most recent book on single life:

Order in paperback here or from
Amazon here.

E-book here.

Debunking Myths about Marriage

Ever since I wrote the book Singled Out (see below), I have been debunking myths about the supposed benefits of getting married. Every time a new study came out and got trumpeted by the media, I did what few reporters seemed to have done – I actually read the original research report. You can see collections of my critiques here:

On getting married and (not) getting happier
On getting married and (not) getting healthier
No, getting married does not mean that you will live longer
No, if you raise your kids as a single parent, your kids are not doomed
No, single people are not isolated and self-centered

See links to other topics here

Singled Out

Singled Out is now available on Kindle!

Or, order in paperback

In this cover story of Atlantic magazine,
Bella DePaulo is described as
“America’s foremost thinker and writer on the single experience.” Singled Out
is discussed in the article, too.

In Going Solo,
Bella DePaulo is described as
“the minister of truth for the solo nation..”

Click here to read my “Living
Single” blog at Psychology Today.

Click here to read my “Single at Heart” blog at PsychCentral.

    Please share your experiences and opinions in these two surveys:

  1. Survey: New Ways of Living
  2. People are living in lots of new ways. How about you? If you live some way other than in a household with married parents and kids (and no one else) under the same roof, I’d love to hear from you. The first question asks you to describe your living arrangement and is the only required question. Answer as many of the others as you wish. Click here to take survey

  3. Survey: Are You Single at Heart?
  4. I am trying to understand people who are – and are not – single at heart, and what makes them different. If you are interested, please participate regardless of whether you think you might be single at heart. There are 15 quick questions (multiple choice), then 3 opportunities to answer questions in your own words, then some background questions (so I can see how I’m doing on reaching a diverse sample). Click here to take survey


Welcome to my website, redesigned in the summer of 2010. Click on a door (above) and it will open and take you to the relevant section. Also notice the links to other pages (including the Contact page) at the top.

Here’s a quick preview and a note about the meaning of each door:

door: See that laundry at the top of the picture? It’s clean. In this section, you will find a conventional overview of who I am. If I’m ever tempted to post dirty laundry, it will be in the “It’s Personal” section of the BLOG page of this website.

door: Red to me means passionate. That describes my feelings as I research and write about people who are single and their place in society. In this section are overviews of my BOOKS on singles, highlights of my singles work as it appears in the media, and notes about my other writings such as my op-ed pieces, my contributions to anthologies, and my academic publications. To read my very latest thoughts about singles and single life, check out the “Singles” section of the BLOG page of this website.

door: I published my first academic paper on deception, “Telling lies,” in 1979. That’s why the deception door is old and creaky. It still has its charm, though, don’t you think? In this section, you can read about my deception BOOKS, my op-ed writing and popular writings (for example, about deception in the TV shows Dexter and House), and my academic publications. My lectures, workshops, and media appearances are also noted here.

door: There is a revolution afoot in the U.S. and beyond, but you may not have heard much about it. It is a grassroots movement in which people are creating all sorts of new ways to live. They are finding their places, their spaces, and their people. They are creating the optimal mix of time alone and time together, of sociability and solitude, for their particular needs and preferences at their particular stage of life. This is my new book project. I hope that my book, and writings by other people, will be part of a new genre I am calling “lifespace literature.” This is all rather new. That’s why the door does not lead into a well-defined room. Walk through it and who knows what you will find!

door: From the shadow (on the right) into the sunshine; that’s one way to think about a blog. Plus, I just like the picture. The blog includes sections on singles, deception, friendship, personal observations (“It’s Personal” section) and other miscellaneous topics (“Off-topic” section).

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